The Solstice holiday is just a day away and to me this marks the beginning of the dawn into the new year. I say this because after Solstice, the days begin to get lighter and longer and there seems to be a feeling of growth and renewal.
I've wrapped up my semester; it's been a difficult journey - this semester. But I survived and I kicked some ass while I did it. I am proud of my grades, of my academic relationships, and I am still in love with the program I chose so hesitantly. I look back at when I was contemplating this program and all of the various comments from people about whether or not I should do this. Well, I can say, with utmost confidence, that I have gone into the correct field for me. And yes, law school is in my future. FUTURE.
The majority of my blog entries focus on moving forward and dealing with various issues. But with the year wrapping up, I can't help but reflect on this past year. I don't know what I can offer you but I do want to share that this has been the most powerful year of my life. It has changed me for the better and I have finally found my feet to stand on and be proud of who I am.
A year or two ago, you could not compare me to who I am today; we are two different people. It's almost like my true self became awakened and I can see reality in a brighter light. My own personal struggles with depression remain, but with an entirely new attitude; it's like being on a train going through a tunnel - it's dark and blah for the time being but you automatically know that it doesn't last forever. And so even in my darkest moments, the glimmer of hope shines through, reminding me that it's only temporary.
A year or two ago, I was a squashed up wall flower type; I merely wanted to please anyone whom I could please. I still enjoy making people happy but there is a new genuineness to it. I am also very interested in pleasing myself; waking up to my true self has taught me that I am as important as anyone else on this planet and deserve my own respect. It's easy enough to know and say that but until you actually feel it, this kind of thorough self-love, it evades you as something wanting. But if you have faith that you deserve your own love, it will come to you. Maybe you already know this as well, but when you feel that incredible self-love, you also somehow amp up the quality of love you have for others.
I hope that you, readers, have enjoyed my blog entries this past year and I hope that some of my reflections have assisted you in your own personal growth. I know that sharing some of my thoughts has helped me out, personally, and I hope that the New Year will bring on new spiritual and emotional challenges which will ultimately bring me to a new height of self-love and awareness.
Peace to you all and I hope the Solstice brings you a happy new dawn and a merry Christmas!
