Good morning. I haven't written in awhile because I have been quietly observing interactions between people. You know, sometimes I feel like I'm the one being observed in a fish bowl and other times I feel like I'm observing people in a fish bowl. I guess it depends on how I'm feeling.
What I've learned recently is a serious lack of trust between people. You know, we're only people and we all make mistakes. And unless someone is truly evil (which is so rare it shouldn't be taken into consideration), why not try to take what a person says at face value?
I'm talking about trust here. We don't have to put all our trust and faith into one person that maybe we don't really know that well. But instead of completely blowing someone off and ignoring them, what about putting a little faith in them? What about putting a little faith in a stranger? Giving someone the benefit of the doubt opens up new channels of communication as well as potentially new awesome relationships.
I view the inner workings of myself as a house; I have the power to control who comes in and out of my house. In the past, as we all have, I have had some people come into my "house" and trash it. I kick them out and look at the mess they left. As I put lamps upright and vacuum the rugs in my "house", I tell myself "I am never going to let that happen again!" Well, lately I have begun to think that is not a good way to live.
I have had some guests in my "house" that have made some serious messes, I mean, you know, like crapped on the carpets kind of messes. But there is nothing stopping me from throwing out the "rugs" and getting something new. (Please hang on to this metaphor for a bit yet). I can clean up things and make them nice again; I don't have to live in a mess. I can trust MYSELF to keep my "house" tidy again.
All that being said (did you like my metaphor?), I shouldn't lock people out. I should welcome them in and offer them tea or hot chocolate or something. Let them take a seat in my "house." When they start to act up, instead of letting them wreak havoc all over my new carpets and beautiful furniture, I kindly escort them out. It's as simple as that.
Recognizing those who effect my inner workings in a negative way (trash my house), I have started to notice that those who I let in are of a better "type" than before. But all those connections, new, old, and revamped, require trust. Trust more, be suspicious less but be aware of someone who maybe isn't "quite right" for you and your life. Don't be afraid to kindly escort them out the "door."
I bring up trust because I see that our politicians don't trust each other, we can't trust them...we are losing trust and faith in each other. We help each other out less, we don't hold doors for each other. We don't smile at each other and say good morning.
So, clean your "house", invite someone in. Smile at someone walking on the street and if you have the chance, say good morning. I go to the post office every day for work and I try to say good morning to everyone as we come and go. It's a great way to kick off the day and start to help others put trust in others that we are GOOD people. Think about it....
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
Stress! Ahhhh!
The last few months, I have been under a tremendous amount of stress. And now, recently, the stress seems to have come to a head, or rather, the manifestation of stress has come to a head...in the form of pimples, all over my face. (I'm 30 years old; why am I still breaking out? Shouldn't this have passed years ago?). Fortunately, I have a simple remedy to cure the little jerks; lemon juice and baking powder. It works quite well and is an inexpensive and quick fix.
I started thinking about the source of the stress. It has also shown up by way of poor sleep, a constant feeling of anxiousness, lack of concentration, and a general feeling of discomfort. Prior to the recent onset of the actual stress symptoms, life had been going quite well. However, when I get stressed, I return to some of the not-so-great habits I have developed over the years as unhealthy ways to cope with my stress.
Having identified the source of the stress (senioritis! job search! apartment search! life search!), I can effectively counter these symptoms. The general practice of meditation and leaving room in my life, each day, for some simple quiet time (quiet when I'm washing dishes, getting ready for work, etc...just briefs moments when I am not bombarded with noise), letting myself go to bed earlier and just let my mind slowly unravel in the comfort of my sheets...PLEASURE READING! And just in general, allowing myself the freedom and liberty to enjoy life.
When I go through these stressful periods in my life (as we all do) we tend to get hyperfocused on what NEEDS to be done, not thinking that taking care of ourselves in such simple ways is a necessity. Well, folks, in order to combat the negative effects of all this stress, taking bits of time to do the simplest mindfulness exercises is what will save us from poor sleep, lack of concentration, and, if you're like me, breakouts all over your face!
Being able to do these things, despite the stress all around, helps us remain in that balanced place. I like to envision a long line with a circle; the trick is to try to keep the circle in the middle, but that's not always the case. Sometimes it will slide to the left or the right (or up or down) and that's perfectly okay. But it is important to be mindful of the center and slowly coerce our balance circle back to the middle. That is where the simple exercises aforementioned come into play. They help to move us back to the middle in a slow and healthy manner.
I hope all is well; I appreciate my readers and I find it flattering when you do read my blog. Thank you!
I started thinking about the source of the stress. It has also shown up by way of poor sleep, a constant feeling of anxiousness, lack of concentration, and a general feeling of discomfort. Prior to the recent onset of the actual stress symptoms, life had been going quite well. However, when I get stressed, I return to some of the not-so-great habits I have developed over the years as unhealthy ways to cope with my stress.
Having identified the source of the stress (senioritis! job search! apartment search! life search!), I can effectively counter these symptoms. The general practice of meditation and leaving room in my life, each day, for some simple quiet time (quiet when I'm washing dishes, getting ready for work, etc...just briefs moments when I am not bombarded with noise), letting myself go to bed earlier and just let my mind slowly unravel in the comfort of my sheets...PLEASURE READING! And just in general, allowing myself the freedom and liberty to enjoy life.
When I go through these stressful periods in my life (as we all do) we tend to get hyperfocused on what NEEDS to be done, not thinking that taking care of ourselves in such simple ways is a necessity. Well, folks, in order to combat the negative effects of all this stress, taking bits of time to do the simplest mindfulness exercises is what will save us from poor sleep, lack of concentration, and, if you're like me, breakouts all over your face!
Being able to do these things, despite the stress all around, helps us remain in that balanced place. I like to envision a long line with a circle; the trick is to try to keep the circle in the middle, but that's not always the case. Sometimes it will slide to the left or the right (or up or down) and that's perfectly okay. But it is important to be mindful of the center and slowly coerce our balance circle back to the middle. That is where the simple exercises aforementioned come into play. They help to move us back to the middle in a slow and healthy manner.
I hope all is well; I appreciate my readers and I find it flattering when you do read my blog. Thank you!
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Patience and Grace
I'm just going to put it out there; I had a bad week. Nothing extremely bad but one of those weeks that we all have from time to time when we just can't wait for the day to be over and then when you wake up and realize the next day isn't going well either, you can't wait for that day to get over and so on and so forth.
Prior to having this bad week (which I guess you could say it was more mediocre than anything), I was on cloud 9. Things have been clipping along smoothly. I'm nearing the end of the term (and therefore the end of my degree) and so of course, there are many things that need to be completed. The stress levels have been high but then to top on the bad week which was last week, I felt like the whole Universe was against me.
I felt sorry for myself for a bit, whined and admittedly, I cried. But every night, as I climbed into bed, I thought "okay, that day sucked; tomorrow can be better." And yet, day after day, the days didn't seem to improve. It was just crap!
But then the big lesson dawned on me. Yes, I believe in the old cliche that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, but that suggests that rare, big challenges will test our strength. What about the little nuisances? What about stubbing your toe, twice in one night? Realizing you don't have enough eggs for breakfast? Forgetting...anything! Day after day after day...the big lesson here isn't that life is cut and dry into great days and awful days, but the entire variety of in between days. It's the mosquitoes of days, not the bears of days...and I think that figuring out how to manage through is the important part.
So what if there is a mosquito in your bedroom...at 2 a.m....and you can't find it? Then what? It's a heck of a lot easier to be terrified of a bear in your bedroom at 2 a.m. - you can see that guy and basically pee your pants of fright (fortunately I haven't been in this kind of predicament). But how do you manage getting some sleep even though that bug is buzzing around your head? Frankly speaking, I wait for it to land and smack it. Done. And I'm done with that metaphor as well.
I think that learning grace and patience are the two newest items I want to tackle. I lack both. I want to obtain the grace so that I may move through these difficult days without creating bigger problems (like stubbing my toe for the third time) and I want to learn patience in order to understand that rough days are inevitable and having patience to get through it makes it a heck of a lot easier.
The lesson, sure, is that if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger, but the bigger lesson is how are you going to manage the challenge? I choose patience and grace. What do you choose?
Prior to having this bad week (which I guess you could say it was more mediocre than anything), I was on cloud 9. Things have been clipping along smoothly. I'm nearing the end of the term (and therefore the end of my degree) and so of course, there are many things that need to be completed. The stress levels have been high but then to top on the bad week which was last week, I felt like the whole Universe was against me.
I felt sorry for myself for a bit, whined and admittedly, I cried. But every night, as I climbed into bed, I thought "okay, that day sucked; tomorrow can be better." And yet, day after day, the days didn't seem to improve. It was just crap!
But then the big lesson dawned on me. Yes, I believe in the old cliche that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, but that suggests that rare, big challenges will test our strength. What about the little nuisances? What about stubbing your toe, twice in one night? Realizing you don't have enough eggs for breakfast? Forgetting...anything! Day after day after day...the big lesson here isn't that life is cut and dry into great days and awful days, but the entire variety of in between days. It's the mosquitoes of days, not the bears of days...and I think that figuring out how to manage through is the important part.
So what if there is a mosquito in your bedroom...at 2 a.m....and you can't find it? Then what? It's a heck of a lot easier to be terrified of a bear in your bedroom at 2 a.m. - you can see that guy and basically pee your pants of fright (fortunately I haven't been in this kind of predicament). But how do you manage getting some sleep even though that bug is buzzing around your head? Frankly speaking, I wait for it to land and smack it. Done. And I'm done with that metaphor as well.
I think that learning grace and patience are the two newest items I want to tackle. I lack both. I want to obtain the grace so that I may move through these difficult days without creating bigger problems (like stubbing my toe for the third time) and I want to learn patience in order to understand that rough days are inevitable and having patience to get through it makes it a heck of a lot easier.
The lesson, sure, is that if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger, but the bigger lesson is how are you going to manage the challenge? I choose patience and grace. What do you choose?
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