When things become filled up with more things and more things and more things...doing and doing and doing...we forget the let ourselves settle and be quiet. Just for a moment or two. Just to let it all disappear as if it never existed in the first place. Then the reality of it all can sink in and the volume of it settles into a quiet priority, nothing of which we cannot handle.
Focus. Quiet. Still the brain. Let in only what is important and let the rest flow around you. For a moment, sit and be a rock in the water...do not open yourself to what is not important.
Quiet.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Let People Change
I most likely have blogged about this particular topic before, but I think it's important to keep it in mind. I have had a few recent occurrences which make it important to realize that regardless of past circumstances, people can and do change, if they so desire.
We all have things in our past that we are not proud of. Fortunately, we are unable to jump in a time machine and go back to make changes - we'd live in the past forever! No, instead, we have to try to move on from those sometimes painful memories.
It's important to have faith - have faith that we can change, if we really want to. It's important to have faith in others that they can also change. It's important to want to let people change. If you don't believe a person has changed, have you forgiven them? Can you forgive them? Does forgiveness equal giving a person the room, in your mind, to change? Or will they stay the same, even if you have forgiven them? I do not personally believe you can forgive someone without giving them the room to change behavior.
I have been on both sides of this coin; I have been unable to believe that a person can change and I have also been accused that I will never change. (It's kind of nice to prove people wrong sometimes!). I realize how my inability to see that people can change is very limiting.
It boils down to a very simple idea: when you are asked for forgiveness, give the forgiveness, embrace the goodness, and let go of their fouls. What are you if you only focus on the bad that a person has done in the past? What good will that do?
Granted, some people have hurt us so badly to the point where maybe we don't want to have them in our lives. I think that's perfectly okay. Sometimes only time and proof of change will make us believe; but when time has passed and the change is real, let yourself believe it. Is it possible? Absolutely.
If the harm that was caused upon you was so bad, then perhaps it is fine for you to let that person out of your life. That is also okay; there are no rules anywhere saying you have to be friends with everyone. You are your number one and no matter what you've got going on in your life, job, kids, home, husband, whatever...you are the most important person in your life and you have got to take care of yourself before you begin to take care of others. If a person stresses you out and causes anxiety, then perhaps it is best to let that relationship go. Make sure it's not personal, though - understand fully why you are letting this person go and forgive them in letting them go. Associating anger and hurt with that person will make that pain linger for a long, long time, regardless of whether or not they are in your life.
It would be nice if everyone always learned their lesson, but they don't always learn it right away or in a way that we feel is appropriate. Give forgiveness...give people the ability to change and leave room in your head and heart so that they may change in your eyes.
We all have things in our past that we are not proud of. Fortunately, we are unable to jump in a time machine and go back to make changes - we'd live in the past forever! No, instead, we have to try to move on from those sometimes painful memories.
It's important to have faith - have faith that we can change, if we really want to. It's important to have faith in others that they can also change. It's important to want to let people change. If you don't believe a person has changed, have you forgiven them? Can you forgive them? Does forgiveness equal giving a person the room, in your mind, to change? Or will they stay the same, even if you have forgiven them? I do not personally believe you can forgive someone without giving them the room to change behavior.
I have been on both sides of this coin; I have been unable to believe that a person can change and I have also been accused that I will never change. (It's kind of nice to prove people wrong sometimes!). I realize how my inability to see that people can change is very limiting.
It boils down to a very simple idea: when you are asked for forgiveness, give the forgiveness, embrace the goodness, and let go of their fouls. What are you if you only focus on the bad that a person has done in the past? What good will that do?
Granted, some people have hurt us so badly to the point where maybe we don't want to have them in our lives. I think that's perfectly okay. Sometimes only time and proof of change will make us believe; but when time has passed and the change is real, let yourself believe it. Is it possible? Absolutely.
If the harm that was caused upon you was so bad, then perhaps it is fine for you to let that person out of your life. That is also okay; there are no rules anywhere saying you have to be friends with everyone. You are your number one and no matter what you've got going on in your life, job, kids, home, husband, whatever...you are the most important person in your life and you have got to take care of yourself before you begin to take care of others. If a person stresses you out and causes anxiety, then perhaps it is best to let that relationship go. Make sure it's not personal, though - understand fully why you are letting this person go and forgive them in letting them go. Associating anger and hurt with that person will make that pain linger for a long, long time, regardless of whether or not they are in your life.
It would be nice if everyone always learned their lesson, but they don't always learn it right away or in a way that we feel is appropriate. Give forgiveness...give people the ability to change and leave room in your head and heart so that they may change in your eyes.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Bring In More Smiles!
Pretty much if you read my little blog here, you know me personally. You know that I am a mom, a student, an employee...you know my plate is full and I give my all to each area of my life.
Lately, I have found myself surrounded in negativity. It's shocking that I have allowed this in; it's disturbing that I have let it affect me. No matter what the issue, I am ultimately responsible for how events effect my emotions. Being bombarded by negativity can chip away at you...and I have decided that enough is enough.
I started my search to bring in more positive "stuff." I found some things that I thought were kind of hokey but I found a few things that seem really relevant and worthwhile. I think we all get the general idea: hang out with people who are positive, shut out those who aren't; do nice things for yourself, etc. But the one idea that popped up that I hadn't considered before was to create a "Good Book."
The "Good Book" is not the bible, at least not for this project. It's a small notebook that you fill up with all sorts of positive things; a happy fortune from a fortune cookie, a love note, a post card from a friend, song lyrics you like, quotes that make you smile, etc.
I started my "Good Book" last night. It's very personal so I'm not going to share much of what is in there but I put a dozen items in there, things I had been keeping anyway because they make me smile, and it was really pleasant to go back and look at these things. It brings up happy memories and reminds me of those who love me and I love back.
While it's easy to focus on negative experiences, putting together my "good book" helped me refocus on all of the positive things I have going on in my life. If you struggle with focusing on negativity, I highly recommend putting together a good book for yourself. Keep it in your purse or your night stand and have a look at it when you're feeling low. Think of one good thing that has happened during the day, especially the bad days, and consider adding it to the book.
And if you want to share with others, create things for them to put in their good book; surprise a friend with a postcard in the mail, share an inspirational quote, draw a beautiful little picture and think about how you can put a smile on someone else's face and help them fill up their good book!
Lately, I have found myself surrounded in negativity. It's shocking that I have allowed this in; it's disturbing that I have let it affect me. No matter what the issue, I am ultimately responsible for how events effect my emotions. Being bombarded by negativity can chip away at you...and I have decided that enough is enough.
I started my search to bring in more positive "stuff." I found some things that I thought were kind of hokey but I found a few things that seem really relevant and worthwhile. I think we all get the general idea: hang out with people who are positive, shut out those who aren't; do nice things for yourself, etc. But the one idea that popped up that I hadn't considered before was to create a "Good Book."
The "Good Book" is not the bible, at least not for this project. It's a small notebook that you fill up with all sorts of positive things; a happy fortune from a fortune cookie, a love note, a post card from a friend, song lyrics you like, quotes that make you smile, etc.
I started my "Good Book" last night. It's very personal so I'm not going to share much of what is in there but I put a dozen items in there, things I had been keeping anyway because they make me smile, and it was really pleasant to go back and look at these things. It brings up happy memories and reminds me of those who love me and I love back.
While it's easy to focus on negative experiences, putting together my "good book" helped me refocus on all of the positive things I have going on in my life. If you struggle with focusing on negativity, I highly recommend putting together a good book for yourself. Keep it in your purse or your night stand and have a look at it when you're feeling low. Think of one good thing that has happened during the day, especially the bad days, and consider adding it to the book.
And if you want to share with others, create things for them to put in their good book; surprise a friend with a postcard in the mail, share an inspirational quote, draw a beautiful little picture and think about how you can put a smile on someone else's face and help them fill up their good book!
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