The occasional emotional meltdown, I think, is no big deal. I think it's important to, even as adults, give in to our childish inner self that sometimes whines "why meeee why MEEEE?!" When you've cried your eyes out, you can reassemble yourself back into an adult and take a few steps forward.
One must be careful, however, when one has the occasional emotional meltdown. If it happens around someone else, they can become scared and nervous. But sometimes the meltdown can only happen in the presence of another. As long as that "other" can understand that it's not a reflection of them or what they're doing, then it should be, in theory, okay, if you feel comfortable enough with that person to allow yourself to express that kind of heavy emotional turmoil.
When I'm alone and dealing with the mountains of stress upon my shoulders (single mom-ness, full time student-ness, and employee-ness coupled with my inner demons), I find that sitting on the kitchen floor (and sometimes laying on the kitchen floor, assuming it's not too dirty) and crying, some how grounds me.
You know, when you fall apart like that...when everything seems like you can't handle it, can't juggle it, crying sometimes, I think, is the best thing to do. Just cry it out and whine about how it sucks...it's not going to change anything, but I know for me it helps.
Sometimes when my stress level is high, I work out. Sometimes I'll try to get together with a friend for lunch. But sometimes it's just too much and the tears are the only option. You end up sleeping better at night and waking up feeling refreshed and more in control of the things you have to take on.
At least, that's the way it goes for me.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Quieting the Mind
The last few weeks has been incredibly chaotic; the holidays, the end of a school semester, doing some major housework and so on. While I have abandoned the usual schedule, some things have not left my mind. And now, this mid-part through January, it is time to resume personal organization.
One of the things that has escaped me, much to my dismay, is the ability to quiet the mind for a few moments each day. Meditation has become an important part of my day but over the last few weeks, I haven't made the time to be still; here and there, yes, but not daily. My stress level hasn't exactly been elevated due to this lack of meditation, but I can tell a difference.
So of quieting the mind; I finally took the time last night to simply be quiet. I had come home from a very busy and fruitful weekend and there had been a lot of external stimulation. So I set the tea kettle on and sat quietly for a few moments, embracing the quiet laced throughout my house. And I didn't think about anything. It wasn't exactly meditation, but I wasn't doing anything. Finding that kind of peace and quiet internally is important but yet it's so easy to ignore it or let it go.
Now that the holidays are tucked behind us and a normal schedule is about to resume, I think it's important to re-incorporate meditation practices into my life. So I have to ask, do you take time each day to think about nothing or in the least to think about those things in your life that you are appreciative? Do turn the external stimulation off and listen to...nothing? I know that for me, this is important and I have neglected it. While the damage has been minimal, it is still there, nonetheless. I find myself anxious and impatient and I neglect to live in the moment and enjoy what I have inside of each day. My brain starts spinning and I lose track of where I'm at and what I'm trying to do.
Deep breath...exhale...meditate and quiet the mind. Focus on nothing or one positive thing. Do not think of what needs to be done or what you want. Simply enjoy a few minutes each day, allowing your brain to defrag.
One of the things that has escaped me, much to my dismay, is the ability to quiet the mind for a few moments each day. Meditation has become an important part of my day but over the last few weeks, I haven't made the time to be still; here and there, yes, but not daily. My stress level hasn't exactly been elevated due to this lack of meditation, but I can tell a difference.
So of quieting the mind; I finally took the time last night to simply be quiet. I had come home from a very busy and fruitful weekend and there had been a lot of external stimulation. So I set the tea kettle on and sat quietly for a few moments, embracing the quiet laced throughout my house. And I didn't think about anything. It wasn't exactly meditation, but I wasn't doing anything. Finding that kind of peace and quiet internally is important but yet it's so easy to ignore it or let it go.
Now that the holidays are tucked behind us and a normal schedule is about to resume, I think it's important to re-incorporate meditation practices into my life. So I have to ask, do you take time each day to think about nothing or in the least to think about those things in your life that you are appreciative? Do turn the external stimulation off and listen to...nothing? I know that for me, this is important and I have neglected it. While the damage has been minimal, it is still there, nonetheless. I find myself anxious and impatient and I neglect to live in the moment and enjoy what I have inside of each day. My brain starts spinning and I lose track of where I'm at and what I'm trying to do.
Deep breath...exhale...meditate and quiet the mind. Focus on nothing or one positive thing. Do not think of what needs to be done or what you want. Simply enjoy a few minutes each day, allowing your brain to defrag.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Everyone Has a Battle to Fight
Some of you may know that I play guitar (poorly). I have a beautiful little Seagull guitar that I absolutely love. She's my baby. And as I type this, I am reminded of the pain she sometimes gives me when I don't pick her up for awhile. My fingers are sore, but it all has to do with the song I wrote last night.
The song is about struggling, which everyone is familiar with. I'm not going to focus this blog about the song, but rather the subject of the song.
I get annoyed very easily with people who seem to do stupid things. This is something I don't really like about myself. I wish I had more patience and empathy but I simply don't. It's something I'm working on. So something I try to focus on is the fact that everyone has problems. Everyone. No one is exempt from having issues. When I see someone doing or saying something that seems absolutely dumb to me, I try to think of why they might think/do that; I remind myself that people haven't had the experiences I have had and so they don't necessarily have the knowledge base that I have. Like when I was explaining to someone that it's not daylight all the time, year round, in Alaska; they thought it was. I explained to them that it wasn't.
On the flip side of that, I also try to remind myself that I also haven't had their life experiences; I don't know where everyone is coming from. This is something I struggle with; the empathy part. Especially when driving. My patience is thin when I'm driving and I'm kind of tired of bad driving etiquette. But what I have to remind myself is that people aren't necessarily "out to get me" or anyone else on the road (although you'll see in the news that that is not always the case either! Ha!). So I breathe deeply and try to focus on what I'm doing and not what they're doing.
Long story short, it's important to focus on the fact that a) we don't all share the same life experiences so we henceforth experience life at different levels and that b) the different ways in which we experience life bear no weight on struggling more or less than someone else.
We all struggle; we all have problems. It's part of this little game we play called being human. It's important to respect other people's struggles and not compare your own. Sometimes it's difficult, but it's very important. Comparison makes the struggle harder and we lose focus on getting through whatever it is we're dealing with. Keep a clear head and focus on the task at hand and remember that we all have ups and downs and we are all playing the same game.
The song is about struggling, which everyone is familiar with. I'm not going to focus this blog about the song, but rather the subject of the song.
I get annoyed very easily with people who seem to do stupid things. This is something I don't really like about myself. I wish I had more patience and empathy but I simply don't. It's something I'm working on. So something I try to focus on is the fact that everyone has problems. Everyone. No one is exempt from having issues. When I see someone doing or saying something that seems absolutely dumb to me, I try to think of why they might think/do that; I remind myself that people haven't had the experiences I have had and so they don't necessarily have the knowledge base that I have. Like when I was explaining to someone that it's not daylight all the time, year round, in Alaska; they thought it was. I explained to them that it wasn't.
On the flip side of that, I also try to remind myself that I also haven't had their life experiences; I don't know where everyone is coming from. This is something I struggle with; the empathy part. Especially when driving. My patience is thin when I'm driving and I'm kind of tired of bad driving etiquette. But what I have to remind myself is that people aren't necessarily "out to get me" or anyone else on the road (although you'll see in the news that that is not always the case either! Ha!). So I breathe deeply and try to focus on what I'm doing and not what they're doing.
Long story short, it's important to focus on the fact that a) we don't all share the same life experiences so we henceforth experience life at different levels and that b) the different ways in which we experience life bear no weight on struggling more or less than someone else.
We all struggle; we all have problems. It's part of this little game we play called being human. It's important to respect other people's struggles and not compare your own. Sometimes it's difficult, but it's very important. Comparison makes the struggle harder and we lose focus on getting through whatever it is we're dealing with. Keep a clear head and focus on the task at hand and remember that we all have ups and downs and we are all playing the same game.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Show Me The MONEY!
I had a conversation about money the other day. The person I was speaking with claims that he hates money. His story is probably fairly common; he had the money one day and then the next, it was all gone. He'd worked very hard for his money and it was easily a representation of that hard work. I am not going to go any further into the details of that situation; I have summed it up well enough.
I understand why he hates money. But I don't think that has to be the way it is. There are many sayings about money; it makes the world go round, you're nothing without money, show me the money and so on.
I neither hate nor love money. Money is the means with which we live in this modern society. It is false to hate or love money.
Money is something to be very pragmatic about. It is merely a tool in the way we live; money allows us choices in our lifestyle.
When figuring out how much money you need to survive and to live the way you would like to, first you have to determine how you want to live. There is not right or wrong way to live. The only wrong way to live is a way in which you are not satisfied; the whole keeping-up-with-the-Jones' is a waste of energy and only causes unnecessary stress. What I mean by this is to simply find contentment in the way you choose to live. The ideal lifestyle runs the gamut; some wish to live off the grid and work the land with their hands. Others prefer high rise condos with the twinkling lights of the city. And there are many many styles in between. So before you decide to work your tail off and save a pile of money, you need to figure out what you're piling that money up for.
Then of course, once that's done, you can proceed to use the money to provide the lifestyle you choose for yourself. I'm not sharing any new and startling information here but I do think it's important to understand money and why and how we use it. I'm certainly not the best at handling my income and I will never claim to be any kind of financial whiz; the point is to respect your money and use it appropriately.
This whole idea of having money to provide a satisfying lifestyle is the exact reason why I chose to return to school and further my career. My lifestyle choices require earning more money than I currently do. So, with that in mind, I choose to suck it up for a bit, work hard at my education, and then I'll be able to proceed with my fancy sheets and travel plans. I'm a sucker for airplanes and high thread count organic cotton. But those are my choices and I am happy with them; I have to respect this about myself.
So what do YOU choose? What brings quality to your life?
I understand why he hates money. But I don't think that has to be the way it is. There are many sayings about money; it makes the world go round, you're nothing without money, show me the money and so on.
I neither hate nor love money. Money is the means with which we live in this modern society. It is false to hate or love money.
Money is something to be very pragmatic about. It is merely a tool in the way we live; money allows us choices in our lifestyle.
When figuring out how much money you need to survive and to live the way you would like to, first you have to determine how you want to live. There is not right or wrong way to live. The only wrong way to live is a way in which you are not satisfied; the whole keeping-up-with-the-Jones' is a waste of energy and only causes unnecessary stress. What I mean by this is to simply find contentment in the way you choose to live. The ideal lifestyle runs the gamut; some wish to live off the grid and work the land with their hands. Others prefer high rise condos with the twinkling lights of the city. And there are many many styles in between. So before you decide to work your tail off and save a pile of money, you need to figure out what you're piling that money up for.
Then of course, once that's done, you can proceed to use the money to provide the lifestyle you choose for yourself. I'm not sharing any new and startling information here but I do think it's important to understand money and why and how we use it. I'm certainly not the best at handling my income and I will never claim to be any kind of financial whiz; the point is to respect your money and use it appropriately.
This whole idea of having money to provide a satisfying lifestyle is the exact reason why I chose to return to school and further my career. My lifestyle choices require earning more money than I currently do. So, with that in mind, I choose to suck it up for a bit, work hard at my education, and then I'll be able to proceed with my fancy sheets and travel plans. I'm a sucker for airplanes and high thread count organic cotton. But those are my choices and I am happy with them; I have to respect this about myself.
So what do YOU choose? What brings quality to your life?
Friday, January 6, 2012
Meditation Weekend
I am looking forward to some new discoveries this weekend. I'm leaving the safe hub of my town and heading north to be next to Lake Superior for a few days. While I'm up there, I'll be seeing old friends and spending time with a very special new friend; I'll be visiting some historic sites and generally just enjoying kind of a "grown-up" vacation.
However, the main reason I'll be up there is to retreat and spend some time in meditation. I am not very good at meditation but I have been able to do it many, many time. I'm just bad at maintaining and do meditation on a regular basis. And I don't know why since I know how good it makes me feel to "wake" from a meditation session.
When I meditate, as many beginners do, I focus on what I like to call my "orb." My orb it a softball sized visual of a round glowing sphere. It metaphorically sits between my ribs and glows in different colors according to my mood. That part I do not control; when I sit to meditate, the orb's color will simply appear. It's very insightful to see what color it is as that speaks highly of what is going on in my subconscious mind.
The other important thing about doing north to Duluth is the power of Lake Superior. I read or heard somewhere there are some kind of magnetic fields or some kind of polarizing effects that Lake Superior have on people. I am not the only one who feels the pull of Lake Superior. Others have claimed to feel like they're "put back together" when they go up to the big lake. If you aren't aware of where or what Lake Superior is, it is the largest freshwater lake in the world. If you are on my friends list on Facebook, you might be able to see some pictures from various trips up the north shore. I also enjoy Grand Marais, MN; just moments from the Canadian border, far far up the shore.
I think that taking a little time from our busy schedules to focus just on yourself and sort of "defragmenting your hard drive" is important. Last summer I took my first solo camping trip and it was one of the most amazing times I've ever had. I did exactly what I wanted, when I wanted to do it and so on. It was amazing. I look forward to the next solo camping trip. Discovering that I can do something like that by myself was a very empowering moment. It's also empowering to recognize that it is okay to take time out for yourself - we are all human and maintaining the balance of work, home, friends, family, etc, can take a toll on your mental peace.
I look forward to writing about my trip; to share the effects it will have on me so that maybe you'll be convinced to take time out for yourself, by yourself.
However, the main reason I'll be up there is to retreat and spend some time in meditation. I am not very good at meditation but I have been able to do it many, many time. I'm just bad at maintaining and do meditation on a regular basis. And I don't know why since I know how good it makes me feel to "wake" from a meditation session.
When I meditate, as many beginners do, I focus on what I like to call my "orb." My orb it a softball sized visual of a round glowing sphere. It metaphorically sits between my ribs and glows in different colors according to my mood. That part I do not control; when I sit to meditate, the orb's color will simply appear. It's very insightful to see what color it is as that speaks highly of what is going on in my subconscious mind.
The other important thing about doing north to Duluth is the power of Lake Superior. I read or heard somewhere there are some kind of magnetic fields or some kind of polarizing effects that Lake Superior have on people. I am not the only one who feels the pull of Lake Superior. Others have claimed to feel like they're "put back together" when they go up to the big lake. If you aren't aware of where or what Lake Superior is, it is the largest freshwater lake in the world. If you are on my friends list on Facebook, you might be able to see some pictures from various trips up the north shore. I also enjoy Grand Marais, MN; just moments from the Canadian border, far far up the shore.
I think that taking a little time from our busy schedules to focus just on yourself and sort of "defragmenting your hard drive" is important. Last summer I took my first solo camping trip and it was one of the most amazing times I've ever had. I did exactly what I wanted, when I wanted to do it and so on. It was amazing. I look forward to the next solo camping trip. Discovering that I can do something like that by myself was a very empowering moment. It's also empowering to recognize that it is okay to take time out for yourself - we are all human and maintaining the balance of work, home, friends, family, etc, can take a toll on your mental peace.
I look forward to writing about my trip; to share the effects it will have on me so that maybe you'll be convinced to take time out for yourself, by yourself.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
2012
For several weeks now I've been thinking about what I could possibly say about time handing itself into a new year. I thought about what happened in 2011 and what I can do in 2012. There's so much to say and yet it all seems so unnecessary. We all know that we want to improve on our lives; in appearance, love, career, etc. But is it necessary to mark January 1st as the day we begin all this?
There are two things I want to share in this blog entry today. The first is that every day is the potential for resolution. Leading a healthier life, working towards improving your career, and all the other things we want "better" in our lives are affected by the choices we make everyday. So, in a nutshell, consider the improvements you can make within each day and live fully inside each day.
The second issue I want to mention is in reflection of various bits I have read; specifically the whole idea of kissing 2011 goodbye because it "sucked" in some way or another. Did it really? Are anger, frustration, and disappointment the emotions mustered by a year gone by, filled with shortcomings, failures, break ups, job losses, etc? Might I put a different spin on things? You see, each failing has a lesson inside of it -- a lesson that can be taken away from 2011 in a positive light. If you didn't lead that healthier lifestyle in 2011, so what? You can start it today, right now, instead of dwelling on what you didn't do in 2011. Did you have to deal with a broken heart? What about opening your heart for a new love, the love for yourself!
It's hard to write about the new year without sounding like some kind of cliche, so I'm keeping this one short. It's simply a matter of loving yourself everyday, building on the past, and planning for the future.
There are two things I want to share in this blog entry today. The first is that every day is the potential for resolution. Leading a healthier life, working towards improving your career, and all the other things we want "better" in our lives are affected by the choices we make everyday. So, in a nutshell, consider the improvements you can make within each day and live fully inside each day.
The second issue I want to mention is in reflection of various bits I have read; specifically the whole idea of kissing 2011 goodbye because it "sucked" in some way or another. Did it really? Are anger, frustration, and disappointment the emotions mustered by a year gone by, filled with shortcomings, failures, break ups, job losses, etc? Might I put a different spin on things? You see, each failing has a lesson inside of it -- a lesson that can be taken away from 2011 in a positive light. If you didn't lead that healthier lifestyle in 2011, so what? You can start it today, right now, instead of dwelling on what you didn't do in 2011. Did you have to deal with a broken heart? What about opening your heart for a new love, the love for yourself!
It's hard to write about the new year without sounding like some kind of cliche, so I'm keeping this one short. It's simply a matter of loving yourself everyday, building on the past, and planning for the future.
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