Staying in the Past

Something that has been on my mind a lot lately is the idea of moving forward.  There are so many good things out there for us and so many of us deny them or think that we're not good enough for them.  But honestly, who is to make that judgment call? 
I can't really make this very flowery, but it boils down to the fact that if we hang on to the past, we cannot move forward.  The past is a serious weight that doesn't allow for growth, if it is mishandled. 
My past - all the wrongs inflicted on me; all the regrets - every mistake.  Oh man, for years I hung on to that and some days I can't not think about that stuff.  But the trick is to compartmentalize it.  To take it out when it's bothering you, let yourself feel it for a set amount of time and then "put it away" in order to move on to more important things, things that help you move forward. 
It's perfectly acceptable to reflect on the past, after all, those experiences are what makes you YOU.  You cannot change that.  But it's how you reflect on them that makes the difference.  Looking at something with a "poor me for having that happened to me" is going to be much less successful than "oh man, that happened to me, but I don't have to let it happen again" attitude.  Relive, reflect, release.  
I had a conversation recently with someone whom I love very much but afterwards, I felt icky and angry and all these old emotions.  I had wanted a friendship out of him in a way that I just don't think I'll get.  The old Tessa emerges, trying to manipulate the situation in order to get what she wants, she fails, and feels angry.  The old game, which never works, was played and failed at.  Again. 
Part of why it didn't work is because the friend also has past-living issues (I think, though I try really hard not to judge - it's just a though calculated based on my reaction and interaction with this person).  He expected me to behave in a certain way and boy, I didn't let him down on that.  I went to bed upset, BUT full of hope, knowing that today is a new day.
Perhaps I just shouldn't be friends with that person for awhile, if ever.  The idea is to move forward.  Step by painful step (and they're not all painful) to move forward into blossoming into what I am becoming. 
The past - is a ball and chain.  And boy did I feel that last night!  So, like I said earlier, the situation shall be let go as a bad night - I will not let it effect my day today.  If I did, I would be adding another link to my chain. 
No one is perfect and change doesn't happen overnight.  But being aware makes a huge difference.  It helps you move forward.