Value of Yourself

If you know me personally, you'll know that I have been working hard over the last two years to earn another degree; this time in paralegal studies. Things are winding down, wrapping up, and I am looking forward to the next chapter in my life.

I have started to have free time. Legitimate free time. I have been able to call on friends to make plans and I've had time to go out and about. It's amazing as I have been so swamped with things and when I'm not swamped I'm exhausted and so I haven't really gone out much. At all. In fact, I think that my personal isolation has caused some damage to some connections but I have learned to appreciate those who have hung in there for me.

So as this new chapter begins, I realize there are choices to be made. Not bad or good, just choices. In particular, I have thought about making positive choices for myself instead of clinging to bad choices from my past. You see, I woke up one day (metaphor) and felt like I deserved the wealth of good choices. In essence, my confidence had blossomed.

Taking the reigns of your own life and realizing that you're worth all the goodness and beauty that exists is something that I (as well as others who struggle with self-esteem issues) was startled to have found. In fact, it came as such a shock that it has thrown me off balance. And I mean this only in a good way.

So as I wind down the intensity of my education and move forward into the next phase, I have made the decision to leave behind all the mistakes, taking only the lessons as I am a good enough person to not have to carry the weight of the past. And in moving forward, I realize that I am entitled to the profits of good choices; it's amazing how when we do not have self-confidence, we can make bad choices and we do not believe we are able to access what is good in life. But in realizing self-worth, we start to value ourselves. It's such a wonderful thing, honestly.

Last night, my daughter and I were bored. We had completed our homework, we had cleaned up the kitchen and whatnot and we were just not interested in anything around the house. It dawned on me that this is some of the free time I am starting to have and this is an opportunity to make a memory and enjoy life. So we hopped in the car and drove down to a particular path along the river and spent nearly an hour just exploring, walking, giggling, joking, and enjoying the sweet smell in the air and the freedom of a beautiful Monday night.

Such a good life; it's such a good life!