I have noticed that in the last few months (or year, really, if you think about it), there has been a shift in the people who are in my life. As I change (for the better), I find that some people are loving the change and are completely along for the ride. Others, well, aren't digging it so much. Most of them quietly fade into the background and there are no bad feelings. At least, I don't really feel badly. Life changes; people come and go and that is the natural way of things.
On the other hand, I have noticed in this last year that I have also experienced some negative episodes between myself and others. Well, I should say that it's been more like as I have slowly and quietly moved away from relationships that I feel aren't very beneficial to me or the other person, there has been some backlash.
I am definitely not going to get into specifics, but yesterday was one of those challenging days where I had to decide whether or not I was going to believe the hurtful things that a person was saying to me, about me. Things that really have no real value; low-blows, so to speak.
It was up to me. It was up to me to decide whether or not to believe any of the things he said. Would I allow this person who is obviously coming from a place of hurt, determine my value of self? Was I going to believe him when I told me I'm ugly and unworthy, stupid and so forth? Would I let this person, furious with my decision to "go solo" and expand my life beyond him, change the positive energy I have within me?
If you know me, I think you already know what the answer is. Of course I'm not going to let him determine how I feel about myself. Not even for one moment. A year ago, I don't know if I could have said the same. A year ago I probably would be so upset and so broken apart because of something that someone else said, therefore seeking external validation, feeding (or not feeding) the ego...but now? No.
Can you say the same for yourself? Can you look at yourself in the mirror all while arrows of hate are being shot at you and still remain strong and determined that you are beautiful in exactly who you are? If you can't, it's time to scale back the life for a bit and strengthen what is in the works to being strengthened. You might consider those who you spend time with - are they full of anger and negativity and therefore affecting you?
You know, something that this person said to me was that I was the most self-centered person he'd ever met. Obviously it was an angry statement but it got me thinking. Where is the center of your world? Why, it's right within you! You are the center of the world - of your world. You are, in fact, the center-of-self...therefore, self centered. Of course that's not what he meant, but if you aren't in charge and focused on the improvement of yourself and your world, then what are you?
There is nothing more important than taking care of yourself. It is highly important to make sure you are blooming from within before you can reach out and share your positive energy with others. So it's important to reflect on the anger that others might reflect on to you and decide, honestly and genuinely, that it is not something that you are going to let into the center of your Self. Life is all about a series of endless decisions...make some good decisions today!
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